Ep. 91 Free To Love

[00:00:00] Speaker A: It's. It's like, you know, people use that phrase, damned if you do, damned if you don't. And I just added the phrase honoring God. Honoring God regardless, right? Honoring God regardless of the reaction or the response or, you know, it's such a sweet spot to live in is this trusting God. He's bigger than this. And I just love that you even shared that. You know, for. For me, it was the going down to the water and just looking out at the water and it was, you know, it was. It was. It looked like Virginia. It was like blue skies. It had, you know, it was a little bit chillier. It had the. Some color on the lake, but it was just. It was just so peaceful to just sit there by the lake and, you know, just the images of kind of like even Jesus saying, come away. Like that phrase just popped up. Just come away. Come away. [00:01:01] Speaker B: Hello and welcome. [00:01:02] Speaker A: It's. [00:01:03] Speaker B: Let's talk life with Carl and Zach here. Cousins, comrades, man. Just coming off of. And you're going back into another weekend of this quote that we love so much from John Eldridge. We live in a love story set in a world at war. You know, we're. We're in a fight. We're in a battle, and we're free in Christ. But there is unquestionably a. A fight to stay free. And that's. That's Frank Friedman is his Galatians commentary. That's the title subtitle. I guess There's a Fight to Stay Free. So that's kind of just where I'm coming from this last weekend, and I was preaching on Galatians chapter five. But you and I both coming off of last week retreat. You're going into a retreat again this week, so there's plenty to chew on. And I guess we're going to kind of maybe start there. If you want to lean into something different, you know, let me know. [00:01:56] Speaker A: Yeah, it was so good seeing you in person and got to spend, you know, several days with you, different times, even leading up to that. That experience. And I just love how each time we make ourselves available to. To whatever God has for us, you know, just. I just think about how many times I'm distracted, how many times I'm, you know, got my own agenda. And I. I miss. I miss what he has for me. I miss an encounter, I miss an experience conversation. And so even when you are. And this is especially good for pastors and leaders, is we get so focused on the task that we're missing something else. And so I love. I Love. I love doing these with an open mind, with being present with others and so that we don't miss it. We don't miss it. [00:02:46] Speaker B: Right. [00:02:47] Speaker A: You know? [00:02:47] Speaker B: Yeah. So good. Yeah. It's so true. And it's. It's us too. At the same time, we can be so bogged down and busy with. You know, I just think of the last three weeks. You know, I had a last minute opportunity to go up to North Florida and teach the weekend before I went up to do this retreat with you, and then I come on straight back to preaching. So it was like back to, back to back. Three weeks of preparation. Be ready. But man, I can also say that I'm. I'm operating from a completely different place. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:19] Speaker B: A place of rest. A place of like, well, I don't feel like I'm totally ready, but I'm also okay with that. And so that's what's just so, so sweet about it. Yeah. [00:03:28] Speaker A: I sent you that text and just wondering how you're doing because. Because of everything that you had going on. You're like, oh, I'm good. I'm at rest. I'm at rest. [00:03:37] Speaker B: Right. [00:03:37] Speaker A: I think that's the word you said, I'm at rest. [00:03:40] Speaker B: Right. [00:03:40] Speaker A: It's a different mindset and I don't [00:03:43] Speaker B: know of when that, when that text was in a time frame of stuff. But then Saturday came and the text could have been on Saturday, but it also depends on when on Saturday. So I came back to. We had a men's breakfast Saturday morning. I stayed there to kind of finalize thoughts and make sure I had what I needed for Sunday morning. And I got to my desk and I just kind of had this overwhelming sense of fear that just swept over me. Like, do I have enough here? Do I have. Do I have it right? What if I say something wrong? What if I don't compare to what, you know, else is being taught and what. All of a sudden I was comparing. I was in fear. I was. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:04:23] Speaker B: And much like, you know, I've shared many times how I've gotten to my office and been like, I don't know what I'm doing. And he's, you know, just confirmed with me, like, you're doing it. He brought that same sense of peace right away for me there. Like, that's. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay, actually, even if you don't get it all right, like, you're all right. So it was neat because I was able to. The very verse. I mean, let me just read Galatians 3:15. This is what I taught on. Yeah, just the first verse of the three that I taught. For you were called to freedom. Brothers only. Do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. And I felt like this overwhelming sense of, you know, flesh is this human effort. And here I was stepping into like, what if I don't measure up? And that would just be like a religious mindset, you know, law based, living mindset. And then, and then my thoughts shifted. It was like this pendulum shifted to like, well, who cares what anybody else thinks? It was almost like an attitude of just do whatever you feel like doing. And then it was like, okay, I don't need to live in either of those places. I can actually like, just like the verse says, I'm, I'm free and so I can just get up there and just be an expression of love and be an expression of Jesus Christ and just let him speak. So it is a unique and a very different way to operate and to live, but it's a joy at the same time. [00:05:53] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And when you're not, when you're, when you're, you're, when your goal is not performance based Christianity, you know, we can still fall, we can still find ourselves back there where the lies that come in. [00:06:05] Speaker B: Sure. [00:06:06] Speaker A: And that, that can take us out. And it's like John Overs talks about just, just that the more we, we, we practice surrendering these things like, like these fears or these lies announcing the lies. You know, he uses the word samurai, which is, which is kind of a cool thing. I like the idea of being a wise, a wise sage. Sage, you know, just, just, just the wisdom of. Okay. Nope, I'm not going to allow that. To transgress my being is a phrase use. Right. I'm not going to allow that to take me out, you know, to start, you know, because we can start comparing ourselves to others, we can start feeling inadequate or incompetent and it's like, okay, well that, that could be a lifetime pattern of fleshly thinking Right. About ourselves and. [00:06:52] Speaker B: Right. Well, it's just so neat because that when we do these pastors, we don't like call them retreats but just for the sake of people understand what they are. [00:07:01] Speaker A: Right. Yeah. [00:07:03] Speaker B: These retreats, you know, with pastors, this ministry to pastors, like this is exactly what we're talking about. Like if, if you remain there. [00:07:10] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:11] Speaker B: Like out of the flesh. I could have fought through and just said, well I gotta be ready for Sunday morning, you know, like eventually the hour is going to come and I'm just going to fight to be ready, whatever it's going to look like. But in that time, I could not just. I could not surrender to just trusting Christ in me, to just, you know, flow out of me. I could just live in that fear all the time. And I think that was most of my life before. [00:07:34] Speaker A: Wow. And. [00:07:36] Speaker B: And so now we have this unique opportunity to minister to pastors, knowing that we're fellow travelers in this. Like, we can get caught up in the same exact feelings at times. And I love just what you were saying, because it is totally a Romans 12 reality. There is the renewing of the mind, and then there's other passages too, that this is where I need to even go back and remember this from class, because renewing was born part of it, but setting is the other part of it. Renewing and setting the mind. And those are valuable verses even just for me to chew on. So that's why I'm saying, boy, it's a good reminder even for me. I need to go back there and just chew on these because it's so good to renew and to set my mind. And the more that I renew and set my mind, the more that I'm able to just to operate from really life in the Spirit. I can live by the Spirit. That's what we're getting to next here in Romans, chapter five, the fruit of the Spirit, Walk by the Spirit. What does that all look like? It all comes out of renewing and setting the mind on these realities. So it's. It's good stuff. [00:08:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:36] Speaker B: So good. [00:08:37] Speaker A: Say like, I love that the phrase you use to start this. We are in a love story set in a world of war. I mean, this is true for each person that we are in a love story. And it is. It is beautiful. And. And we talked about being God's beloved. The belovedness, you know, which. Which there are times, seasons, most of the seasons of my life. I would not like that phrase to be used in me. I did. I didn't claim it. I did not see myself that way. And it was kind of like, yeah, it's kind of like a, you know, touchy feely word or, you know, more of a not a masculine word. You know, even in John where it says that he's the beloved disciple, it's like uncomfortable with that kind of language, right? And I don't know that maybe it was shame, right? Maybe it was shame. Maybe it was not understanding my identity right? In Christ, whatever it is. And so I Just love. I love that we're in a love story. So we're in a love story. We are his beloved. He's, you know, again we've talked about this. He, he sings over us. He takes delight in us as we trust, as you. So, so as we grow and mature in our, in our thinking and, and in our awareness of his love, there's like this delight. There's this, there's growth, you know, the joy, the peace, the outflow of these things. And so that's, that's one thing and it's true. But we are set in a world of war, or you could say, and we're set in a world of war because there is an opposition, there is an enemy. And that is very helpful. And so every time I go through this wild heart experience and it really is the whole hearted gospel that Jesus came to heal, heal the, the brokenhearted, the brokenness and to set us loose, to set us free. And, and so that's the double aspect. I mean, Dan Stone uses the, you know, the, the rest of the gospel and so many people have used different terms, but this is all part of the new heart teaching that Jesus gives us a new heart. That listener. If you've trusted in Christ as your savior, then you have a new heart. You're not, you're no longer a sinner, saved by grace. You are now a saint. You are his beloved. And we are in a world at war and there is, he comes to steal, kill and destroy. So I think every time just going through it is so helpful. [00:11:07] Speaker B: It is, yeah. Yes, very helpful. Like I said before we hit record, even that haven't had time to go back through my notes from our last, you know, time together and going through all this stuff and I have all kinds of stuff that I just want to chew on. But I came right back into, you know, I'm facilitating this high trust course to. With true face. And so I was a week or two behind there. So I was just trying to play catch up and, and I was prepping for a message and so that's where life can get busy. But there's, there's, there was something still there that I couldn't necessarily even put my finger on all weekend. But I was just like, this is so beautiful. I, I just, I so love this. I was able to. This is one of the things that I'll just Rej going up to the shack again. And I walked for one of our covenant of silence. I walked on the same trail I walked on last year with a completely different Posture, so to speak, mentality, a different mindset of just walking and just praising God and thanking him for opening my eyes and going after my heart. And just he knew at the right time, the perfect time to just last year to walk into those woods and just ask them some serious questions, really was just one. And this is a great question that comes out of, I think the whole wild at heart experience and all that stuff is what is your deepest shame? And boy, if you want to talk about a question that people don't want to chew on, people that don't, they don't even want to know the answer, let alone try to answer it. And especially pastors and ministry leaders, but most any people. And so that's where I was just asking that question. And God really just opened the door. And so that was such beauty for me because that was the beginning of real healing in this last year. So to then be able to come back to and share in our groups of three, like we do at those retreats. [00:12:59] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:00] Speaker B: And I was just able to like, share. This is where I'm at. This is what happened last year. This in. And just. And so, so beautiful because even the connection with the guy that was in my group. [00:13:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:12] Speaker B: And everything was just so beautiful about it was like, you know, you just, you could see and I could sense in my own self just more freedom. And I think that's the renewing of the mind. You're able to just walk out this freedom and not worry, not be afraid, just to trust that there's no condemnation. That doesn't mean that there's not going to be somebody out there that might condemn you. But, but because they treat me that way doesn't mean that that's who I am. [00:13:38] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:39] Speaker B: And so that's where I'm able to live. That's where I'm able to walk. That's where I'm able to just be at rest. And so it changes. It really does change everything about how you operate in life. So it is really amazing, man. It's good stuff. [00:13:51] Speaker A: It's a great phrase because I had this phrase today. It's, it's like, you know, people use that phrase, damned if you do, damned if you don't. And I just added the phrase honoring God, honoring God regardless. Right? Honoring God regardless of the reaction or the response or, you know, and it's such a sweet spot to live in is this trusting God. He's bigger than this. [00:14:16] Speaker B: Wow. [00:14:16] Speaker A: And. And I just love that you even shared that. You know, for, for me, it was the going down to the water and just looking out at the water. And it was. You know, it was. It was. It looked like Virginia. It was like blue skies. You know, it was a little bit chillier. It had the. Some color on the lake, but it's just. It was just so peaceful to just sit there by the lake and, you know, just the images of kind of like even Jesus saying, come away. Like that phrase just popped up. Just come away. Come away. [00:14:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:46] Speaker A: And, you know, kind of like, come and see. You know, taste and see God's goodness. It is to be experienced this. This walk. This relationship is an experiential relationship. It is, it is, it is. We experience it, you know? [00:15:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Even. And just my mind's going all over the place. It's so beautiful. [00:15:09] Speaker A: Just. [00:15:09] Speaker B: Just that verse alone, come and. And see. Like, I. I just want to chew on that some more because what does that look like that to me was that walk in the woods. It was me coming to God with something so heavy that I couldn't process without him showing me. But the invitation was, well, come and see. The invitation is, ask the Father. Ask the one that can bring that revelation. Come and see. And I think a lot of times, yeah, like I already said, we're. We're afraid to even ask of God simply because we kind of don't want the answer. We're afraid of the answer. We're afraid to deal with what might come up. But the reality is that the real healing and the real freedom come from actually walking through that with the Father and then with other people. [00:15:59] Speaker A: Right. [00:16:00] Speaker B: So, yeah, it's so good. [00:16:02] Speaker A: And so you had an attitude of thankfulness and reflecting on the last 12 months and how the Lord met you there and his kind of like a. A neat moment for you and. [00:16:12] Speaker B: Absolutely awesome, man. [00:16:13] Speaker A: Thanks for sharing. [00:16:14] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So good. I was just happy to see some color, too. We don't. We don't get color change down here. Last year when we were up there, it was like, they. Well, there wasn't much color. I thought, where's all the leave? Why are the leaves not changing yet this year? It was, like, as colorful as could be. It was really beautiful. [00:16:32] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:16:34] Speaker B: So that was a blessing too. Just a side note. [00:16:37] Speaker A: So. So even, like, with. With this men's. You know, men's treatment going into. And we use the word retreat because that's kind of what people associate things with, but, you know, a word you love is reset or rest. A word that I love is like an experience. We're gonna. We're gonna go through this experience, and we use retreat because that's what people associate with. But so this weekend, really thinking about the value of the groups of three, the triads. And. And so even as we. You were talking, you know, just thinking about this Saturday morning, you know, the poser covenant of silence, healing the wound covenant of silence, and then coming back together in groups of three, and. And it's just like, man, just like I was in 2019 when Scott came, and I was like, y', all, he's too crazy. But God had already closed cultivated soil for me to receive it. It's kind of like, man, I really. My hope is for this church that asked me to come, not for. Not for them to connect with me as much as I want them to be able to be vulnerable and connect with each other. Because that. That's what's going to yield the most fruit for this. This, you know, this assembly, this fellowship, is when they learn to trust each other. And so you would recommend the triads? [00:17:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's tough among a lot of people that are not used to it or have never been a part of it or are afraid of that. But there's also no, like, pushing. There's no forcing. There's no, like. [00:18:07] Speaker A: That's right. [00:18:07] Speaker B: You need to share your deepest, darkest secrets. It's just share what comes to your mind. Share what you feel comfortable sharing right now. Because I think that it's just a little bit. You share just something, and you feel like, okay, these guys actually listened, and they didn't condemn me, so maybe I can share a little bit more next time. And then you share a little bit more, and you actually, that's. I think healing really comes out of that. [00:18:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:31] Speaker B: So reality. [00:18:32] Speaker A: I learned to trust someone else with myself. Right. So I'm trusting God and others with me. And it can start small. It can start small. [00:18:40] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:18:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:41] Speaker B: Yeah, it's good. [00:18:43] Speaker A: This is all freedom, right? This is. This is what freedom looks like, right? [00:18:47] Speaker B: 100. Yep. Galatians 5. One is for freedom that Christ has set us free. And then he gets a chapter, verse 13 of Galatians 5, and you are called to freedom. And then the third part of that phrase says, so through love, serve one another. Since you're called to this freedom, through love, serve one another. So, and I shared this again before we hit record, that my mentality before was really on the middle part of that verse. So there's like an A, B, and C of this verse, you know? [00:19:15] Speaker A: Right. [00:19:15] Speaker B: And the A part of the verses for you are called to freedom, brothers. And the C part of the verses. So through. Through love, serve one another. But I would have probably clung on to the middle part of the verse for myself, and that's what I probably would have taught on more than anything else, because I didn't understand how to really be. How do I live out of this call to freedom? So I would have just held on to the middle part, which is like the B part of the verse, as it said. But it says this. Do not use your freedom. So A says, you were called to freedom, brothers. B says, only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh. I would have camped out there in my own mind and my own thinking because I felt like, well, I have a lot of flesh stuff that I got to work on. And so that's where I would have just hung out. And I was totally neglecting that. Actually, the victory for that is in the first part of the verse. But I didn't know how to define that. I didn't know how to process that. I didn't know how to receive that. So. So that's. [00:20:16] Speaker A: And it. And it's true that. That we think it's things we got to work on. [00:20:21] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:20:22] Speaker A: The flesh will never be sanctified. The flesh. Like. Like we're so busy trying to modify behavior and manage sin. Right. That. That we have really ignored the. The power and the gospel and the resurrection of Christ. [00:20:36] Speaker B: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. It's. It's so true. Because I am free from religion or law. So then I. So then I. I'm. I'm free from. But I'm. Then I'm also free, too. [00:20:50] Speaker A: Yes. [00:20:51] Speaker B: And. And Jesus gives a new commandment, and it's the law of love. And it's written on my heart because I'm a new creation. I have a new heart and a new spirit. And I actually can. I actually can love, and I can actually receive love. That's where the victory really, really comes. Not because I'm overcoming. I have this. This issue in my life, and I need to overcome this. It's like, no, I don't need to get all cleaned up first. I need to just trust, okay? This is who I am. And the more that I rest in who I am in Christ, the more that the overflow of that is, you know, me actually cleaning those things up. Not because I'm cleaning them up, but Jesus is standing there with me saying, yeah, yeah, there's that in your life, but we'll deal with that. But he's more concerned about this, like, relationship. Like, here we are, we're here together, and I'm in you. I'm flowing through you. My spirit's in you to remind you and to journey with you in the midst of it, to teach you all things. Rest there. And it's a pretty beautiful place to rest. [00:21:57] Speaker A: So good. [00:21:58] Speaker B: So. Damn. I think that probably the hardest thing for people is to receive. And there's a lot of things, I think, to receive. Receiving God's love. [00:22:07] Speaker A: So many things. Yes. [00:22:08] Speaker B: Receiving the truth about who we are in Christ. And one of those big words that think. Really, a lot of Christians that have lived, you know, in the context of a Christian home in a. Going to church and being involved in spiritual things, they have a really hard time with that word righteous. And I'm really righteous. [00:22:26] Speaker A: Right. [00:22:28] Speaker B: But I have a list of verses, you know, of 2 Corinthians 5, 21 that we've become the righteousness of God. Romans 5, 1 that having having been justified, we have peace with God. Like how we don't have peace unless we have righteousness. So they go together. [00:22:46] Speaker A: And I can't have the Holy Spirit indwelling me if I'm impure. [00:22:49] Speaker B: Yep. Yep. It's impossible. So. So he. [00:22:53] Speaker A: He. [00:22:53] Speaker B: The blood accomplished something about the sin so that he could then live inside of us and give us new life. That's. That's really. That's the gospel. [00:23:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:07] Speaker B: It's so good. Yeah. It's beautiful stuff. So. Yeah. And I mean, I'll just close with this, too. First Corinthians 6, you know, says you were washed, sanctified, justified. So it's like we don't have to wash ourselves up. We don't have to. It's not. It's not overcoming our sin like you said, or just behavior modification or sin management. It's not that. But, yeah, it's so easy to get caught up, like I said, on the B part of the verse, and forget that we have this victory, we have this freedom in Christ. Let's renew the mind and live from there. And it's just. It's a beautiful place to be, so. All right, well, Carl, I think we're done for today. And praying for you in this coming weekend. [00:23:53] Speaker A: Yeah, man. [00:23:55] Speaker B: Be an awesome experience for those men. [00:23:58] Speaker A: Yeah. Yep. Christ in me. Right. Takes pressure. [00:24:02] Speaker B: Right. Go and be the Carl Records expression of Jesus Christ. Yeah. Amen. Good stuff. Over and out.