Let’s Talk Life, ep. 29 - Life Talk

[00:00:03] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to let's Talk Life where we talk life in Christ. He's our healer, our liberator, he's our victory. We usually talk life in Christ and how that connects to our day to day life. And this week we're talking our lives, our day to day and how Christ is in everything that we do. Because where we are is where the ministry is. So this really kind of the same thing, I guess it's just flip flopped. But every day, every part of our life is just Christ in us and us just walking that out. So our starting point this week is really coming from both of us just being. Just a lot of things happening. Right, Carl? So here we are. How you doing? I guess we should say hi. You said that before. We don't often do that when we get on camera because we, we've already been talking for a few minutes before. [00:01:00] Speaker B: Right, right. We're 30 or 40. [00:01:03] Speaker A: Right. Missed you last week. I went solo. Han Solo. So, yeah, what do you think, Carl? What was your day to day life life like and what did it look like? I guess this last week. [00:01:18] Speaker B: Yeah, man, great. You did an awesome job last week and I appreciate, I'm glad you, I'm glad you went ahead and did it. Truth trusted, transforms. It was some of the stuff that you shared last week. And again, just. That's part of the journey we're on. And I would just say this, that living this way, living in this realm of trust, it is so freeing from performing. Yeah, it's freedom from performance. And in God's economy, you know, and I'm continuing to learn this in God's economy, God has the final say. He's got the final say. What he says about you or me or the listener, what he says about us is our truest self. And so if we have, if we have trusted, if we have believed that Jesus died, was buried in us again, then on the third day for our sins, then we have forgiveness and that's great. And we have help heaven, and that's great. We have a hope and that's great. But, but we were dead and now we're alive. [00:02:25] Speaker A: Right. [00:02:25] Speaker B: And, and I bring this all up because as you had mentioned last week, that, that, that my aunt from my mom's side, we're cousins from, from my dad, your mom. And so is the other side of my family that, that, that she passed a week, week or so ago. And, and so, and having God's unexpected kindness and that's kind of what I'm processing through right now of just, just Just amazing things. And. And so I'll just give you one. Like, so. So my aunt and I was reminded several times from their family pastors. My. Their family pastors there said, well, you're. You're their favorite. We don't know why, you know, that. [00:03:12] Speaker A: She. [00:03:12] Speaker B: She wanted them to know, like, hey, my nephew is gonna do the message. My nephew's coming out. My nephew's gonna speak. And so it's kind of like. But I didn't feel any type of pressure. It was so. It was so freeing because what I wanted to share is Jesus, and. [00:03:29] Speaker A: Right, man. [00:03:30] Speaker B: There's no pressure when you're sharing Jesus because he's. He's everything, man. He's life. He's not priority. He's not first. I think you mentioned that last week too, right? And so. So it was just so many amazing things, but just that one thing that. So. So I'm thinking about my aunt and. And her love for me and my siblings, right? Her love on us, her love. Her love that was lavished upon us. And. And all I'm seeing is her shell, because she's more alive than ever, right? I mean, she's. She's at the feet of Jesus. She's. She's no longer suffering. This. This is just her body. Shell or earth shell? Earth suit. And. And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, you know, what do I. What do I want to say right now? You know, just me and, you know, no one else is around, and. And I just, you know, brought to tears of her love and just said, thank you. Thank you for loving me. And it was at that moment where the Father is saying that this love for you is my love for not just you, but everyone. That all of us are God's favored child. All of us. We're his favorite. Every single one of us. We're his favorite. [00:04:50] Speaker A: Wow. [00:04:50] Speaker B: Every single one of us. I mean, there's no distinction between male or female, Jew or Greek, slave or free. We are all one. And I'm telling you, it was. It was such a beautiful moment of the Father's love and lavished upon me and in every. You know, just understanding that. And so that was. That was. That was beautiful. And. And some other. Some other moments, man, maybe I need to process him more, but. Man. Unexpected kindness, right? God's unexpected kindness, right? [00:05:24] Speaker A: Yeah. So beautiful. So beautiful. I'm so excited that you had the opportunity to. To go and to share. And, man, we've. We've come from, you know, a past of. Of thinking that we're on the path of, of God's best and God's grace, but not really understanding it. And so when we have opportunity to even communicate with our family, like, this is, this is the reality. [00:05:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:53] Speaker A: God's love. [00:05:55] Speaker B: Right. [00:05:55] Speaker A: And like, we, we could only process it, even ourselves before so much, and we could only trust it so much because, I don't know, there was still kind of that blockade for us. [00:06:09] Speaker B: Right. And. Go ahead. [00:06:12] Speaker A: Well, I was just, just thinking we. That blockade is just our past hurts. Right. [00:06:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:18] Speaker A: The wounds and the wounds that are there, which we're going to kind of get into just about what we've been reading recently. But that's all I was going to say. You can, you can go ahead with what. [00:06:29] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's just, I just want to, I want to, like, just be so clear. So, so trusting God is this new way of living and it's, and it's exciting and it's an adventure, but there's still hurt and pain and suffering, and so there's still fear and anxiety, and so it's learning to surrender these things. So. So for me, the anxieties were, I don't have a real id, how am I getting home? You know, I'm flying out there. How am I getting home? In the media hype of, you don't have a real id, you can't travel. And it's like, okay, well my stuck there, right? And God just taking care of that. And then, and then it's like, I'm getting ready. So. So, man, I'm driving to Richmond, which is about 90 minutes. I'm flying to Atlanta. Catch have 40 minutes. And if any, any of you been in Atlanta, I mean, you got to catch a train. And then if you're back at the plane with carry on, you got to get, you got to hustle. And so I barely make the connection. I get to St. Louis, I drive another 90 minutes. It's like, that's planes, trains and automobiles, right? So on the way home, I'm driving back, I get to St. Louis, I'm ready to get on this, and lightning strikes the plane as it's coming in to land. So then it's like, okay, how am I getting home? And so part of this trusting God is saying, God, I'm giving this all to you in this moment. And it doesn't mean it's all going to work out for me, but what it means is I'm surrendering this to you, to experience your peace. Guess what? It all worked out. It all worked out. But I was no longer a mess. I was able to experience this peace and in this moment without trying to figure it out, without knowing how it's all going to work out. And so, yeah, that's, that's what we're talking about here. It doesn't mean everything's going to be great. Doesn't mean everything's going to fall apart. There's still hurt, pain, death, all these things, loss, all these things. But it is giving up my outcome. Trusting the father with what he wants me to walk through. And I'm telling you, it's more beautiful than ever. [00:08:23] Speaker A: Yes, it is. It's what we so want to get across to people in every aspect of what we do. And yet at the same time, we rest in the fact that it's not us that can convince people of it. It's just us doing life with people and allowing God to work. And it's, it is, it's so beautiful. It's exciting to be a part of unquestionably. [00:08:46] Speaker B: And, and so then, so coming back home and just disoriented. I'm feeling disoriented. Like, like there's. There's a sadness there. There's a, there's a sadness of, of, you know, my, the beautiful marriage to my uncle and aunt for 40 some years and, and, and their kids and the sadness of my mom and that, you know, just. So there's, there's some sadness there. I'm, I'm working through. There's the travel thing that I'm working through and there's this disorient, disorientation of all these things I'm behind on. And it was so great just having guys like you or our other friend, mutual friend Vic, and who just said, hey, just rest. Right, just rest right now. Don't, don't try and make up everything in one day. Don't try and make everything up in one hour. And it was just beautiful advice because in the past, right, the room of good intentions is trying, striving harder. Gotta do all these things. And it was like, no, no, no. I need to just be in this place of rest where I allow the Holy Spirit to minister to me. Allowing Jesus to minister to me right now. Right? Fresh. [00:09:49] Speaker A: Yeah. And I can almost like hear the words to myself in the past when I got home from something similar to that, or I was going through like that kind of a scenario and I come home and it's like, just get over it. Plug on. We gotta, you know, put on a different hat and move forward. Just, just get over it. That's always the mindset, and it's not so easy to just get over it. So I like, I appreciate even that you said, like, there are still some other things that I still have to process through. And there's oftentimes in life, not space, we don't give ourselves space. We don't give other people space to allow them to process through. And it takes time to do that. And that's what doing life together really is all about. And we've made it so ritualistic and so religious. And the mindset of, you do these things and you don't give up meeting together, come to church, come to Bible study, be plugged into these things, and if you don't, then that's why things are falling apart. Well, the reality is, well, no, I've got all these things that I'm trying to process, and I don't have enough time to actually sit with God and just process through these things, to sit with my spouse or just sit with a friend and just to process these things. It's so crucial, I think, to the whole aspect of really growing into who I already am in Christ. Because if I just, like I said, just suck it up and just get over it, that's not me resting in God. That's me really trying to manipulate and get over it myself. [00:11:31] Speaker B: Right. Well, listen, that's that. You got a story about that from the past week of resting and in terms of disappointment or frustration. Right. [00:11:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, a lot. I mean, I was traveling too, so this was last weekend. And the same thing, like, I was traveling with my wife with an infant. And so there's all that, that goes with it. And there's always unexpected, you know, expenses and cost to things. And. And so I have. There's so. There's so much. And when I. When I really think of even, like I was going to get into the Path, the book that we're going through right now with the group, but I'm not going to dig into that quite yet. But what I really experienced, even in reading this chapter and then relating to all, there's this, like I said, like what you said, there's still so much to process. And so it's like even sitting here right now, there's a lot of things that I just have to think through. But when I look back, I went to this Network 220 conference and I had a table and I was selling Wayne Jacobson books because I don't have. I'm not an author. And it was just so amazing because there are so Many different aspects to the whole weekend that just were just so cool to see. Like, for one thing, I have a business guy here that I rent an office from and he's got a sign shop. And I, I told him X amount of dollars, this is how much I have for a budget to, for signage and things that he was gonna, you know, business cards, all these different things he was gonna have done for me before the conference. And then I put out an email to a few supporters that have given money to me and just said, hey, I'm doing this conference if you're find, you know, any within your hearts that want to give towards it. And one of the guys gave the exact amount of money that I gave to him as my budget. And so then I was able to just text him and say, listen, thank you for doing life with me. And look at, look at how you are a part of what God was doing this last weekend. [00:13:36] Speaker B: Right. [00:13:36] Speaker A: It's just so, it's so neat to see those kind of provision type things happen. [00:13:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:40] Speaker A: And then the first guy that came to the table, like I said, I was selling these Wayne Jacobson books and this guy was like, I'm tearing up here just looking at these books sitting on your, on your table. Like I read one of, one of the three that you have here. We just had a great conversation, but then he just said, here, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna support you. I'm gonna give you some money. [00:14:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:04] Speaker A: So it was just so amazing how God was just. All these partnerships were even beginning to happen, connection with, with other pastors even that were there, which was fantastic. So. And just being able to sit with one of our previous author of a book, the Rest of the Gospel. [00:14:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:23] Speaker A: David Gregory, I believe. Right. He's got two names, so I always gotta remember which one. But I got to just sit with him. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Awesome. Yeah. [00:14:32] Speaker A: For a half an hour just out by the fireplace, you know, it was just like. [00:14:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:37] Speaker A: So cool just to be able to just do life with people and especially some of these people that have been doing this for a long time. And so it was so encouraging and of course to be there too with my wife and you know, she's been on this journey right alongside of me. But of course we're both individuals that have our own experiences and so we're all, we're also on our own journey. [00:15:00] Speaker B: Right. [00:15:01] Speaker A: So it's so fantastic to have her to be able to be there. But then just coming back even to, first of all, going on the conference, I brought with Me, two couples. One of them's the businessman, and the other one's the pastor of our church and their wives. And so it was just so beautiful to see them come. Pastor Brett's been preaching this message for 30 years, but he hasn't been connected to anybody else for the last 15. And so he just felt like he's an island until I got on the scene and started talking the same language. And he's talking my language. [00:15:36] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [00:15:37] Speaker A: Just like, we just so connected together. And then I said, listen, there's. There's other people. There's other people. You should connect and go to this conference. So just. It was such an encouragement for him and then for Andre as well, to connect and really just do life together. And he was able to connect with his son who lives down there, too. So it was just. There are so many beautiful pictures that. That were all kind of happening. But what we came back to is what I'm going into right after this as well, at 11:30 this morning is into a meeting with those two guys, which we're going to meet every single week and just talk about what do we do with church? Like, what's. What's next? How do we. How do we bring this message? Because we're looking at the map of all the churches and ministries, and they're sporadic. They're so far that are actually preaching this message. They're so far and few between. And so it's like, well, how do. How do we do this? Is always the question. And that's where I'm just resting. And listen, let's just be who we are, and let's just approach what God has in front of us, right? And here I'm sitting with the youth pastor this morning before this call, and we're taking over. We're literally taking over. It's called the 180 House. It's a Use for Christ House. And the director that's there now, he's kind of stepping out here come July, and he's telling Pastor Jimmy, this. This is your baby now. That's what he's been telling them. And I'm right there alongside of him with them in partnership with the church, and now we're in partnership with Youth for Christ. And it's just such. All these beautiful things. And we're sitting here talking like, well, what are the opportunities, even for me? Like, I was telling them there's this bar. Like, there's a bar downtown right here. And I was like, I'm thinking about partnering with them because they're Only open at night. [00:17:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:25] Speaker A: Maybe I could get in there and have a little thing and use that space for my ministry. And I thought that's. It's so beautiful because I was just talking to a guy in Dallas who's actually moving to Texas to pastor a church, and the church meets in this bar. I thought, this is also weird. This is also contrary to what I ever would have thought I'd be doing. So I'm like, well, how can this happen? And Pastor Jimmy just says, well, what about the 180 house? Like, it's just up the road. And I'm like, I never thought about that. [00:17:56] Speaker B: Wow. [00:17:56] Speaker A: Like, we have this partnership going on. I could. I could literally move my office to there. It could save me money. Or I could give the money to. To Youth for Christ. [00:18:05] Speaker B: Right. [00:18:05] Speaker A: And then I have this storefront, basically, of where people are walking and I can connect. So which. [00:18:11] Speaker B: Which has been. Which has been your dream. Which has been your dream for months. [00:18:16] Speaker A: It's not longer since I got down here. Yeah. I mean, before I got down here, that was really my. My desire was to have, like, a storefront place where people could just come, do book studies, have a coffee, have, you know. [00:18:28] Speaker B: Right. [00:18:29] Speaker A: Whatever. Have a little cafe, have some live music, have, you know, just an opportunity to connect with people, do book studies and discipleship and counseling, and all these things could happen, but in the midst of just business and life. [00:18:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:42] Speaker A: So here it is, like, almost right in front of me, and I'm thinking, well, what does this look like? So it's like. So that's where I was left. Even with Pastor Jimmy's like, okay, God, what are we doing? It's just such a beautiful picture. [00:18:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:57] Speaker A: In so many different ways. [00:18:59] Speaker B: It's. What's. Give. Giving up my agenda, because I think it's going to look a certain way. So then I. So that my whole life, or whatever it is, I'm centered on this over here, and I'm missing out on what God was actually doing the whole time. [00:19:14] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:14] Speaker B: Or what. [00:19:15] Speaker A: You know, and so it's like completely. Oh, man. So, I mean, that. That really brings me into even, like, the path and the question. [00:19:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:25] Speaker A: I love. I love the questions for every chapter. The questions are everything because it really draws you in and helps you to process them. And this is the question for this week. It's like chapter five, I think. Right, Carl? [00:19:38] Speaker B: Yep. [00:19:39] Speaker A: I don't even know because I'm further in, but the guide notes are so good. And this is the question of what if your deepest wound is Where God longs to bring your deepest healing. [00:19:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:51] Speaker A: And you. And you can resonate with that, can't you? [00:19:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I mean, when you. When you think about how many years we, you know, decades long, that we just hide our wounds and we just. [00:20:05] Speaker A: Right. [00:20:05] Speaker B: Just have them buried up. And, and so all we see, all we see in the external is, is a tight wound up person or an angry man or a angry woman. That's all we see. And yet there's the wounds that are hurt. Deep. So far. Deep. And it's like, no, no. What if. What if God wants to bring his deepest healing in the deepest woundings of your life? You know, the feelings of rejection or abandonment or humiliation. You know, one of the things that we talk about is, you know, when we go through things. Well, it's probably not the first time I felt that. Right. It's probably the first time I felt betrayed or the first time I felt abandoned or rejected or frustrated. You know, probably not the first time. It's like, man, there's something going on. [00:20:48] Speaker A: Wow. Right? So true. Just this question alone, like, got me thinking just how much we try to pray away those wounds, pray away those circumstances that might hurt us or, or we hustle through them. This just meaning that we just get really busy and just to distract ourselves from the reality of. Of what's there. But the reality is the pain is still there, that past hurt is still there, that disappointment is still there. [00:21:24] Speaker B: Right, Right. [00:21:26] Speaker A: So. And I won't even dig into specifics here because it's one of the things that I'm still processing. [00:21:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:31] Speaker A: But it's the second time in probably four to six weeks. The second time was last night as I was even reading this, that it really just. God was breaking through and bringing my attention to some. Some deep hurt that when I perceive hurt right now, like in daily life with people and I perceive hurt, it's just that it's like, just. Just my perception. It's not because they're actually even intentionally hurting me. [00:22:01] Speaker B: Right. [00:22:02] Speaker A: But I'm starting to realize that I am still swallowed up in this past hurt that I'm not completely healed from. And so that leads me to a question of like, well, why has it been so long and I'm still not healed? And I think that's a question for a lot of people. [00:22:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:20] Speaker A: I wasn't able to heal. This is. This is a reality. Because what healing looked like was me fighting this good fight. And so just show up. And I already kind of said, right, I'm going to kill myself. For the sake of the ministry, I'm just going to sacrifice and do whatever I needed to do. And while it's true, like, staying busy helps. [00:22:43] Speaker B: Sure, sure. [00:22:44] Speaker A: It didn't. Staying busy didn't heal. [00:22:47] Speaker B: No, no. [00:22:48] Speaker A: I wasn't able to in the midst of that business, truly and genuinely heal. And so the truth is, like, staying busy actually prolongs my pain. [00:22:58] Speaker B: Right. [00:22:59] Speaker A: And that's where I think a lot of people are at. And it's. Until we can slow down, until we can get to the words healing and vulnerability and being real and being honest and trusting. [00:23:09] Speaker B: Yes, yes. All those. [00:23:11] Speaker A: Those are such frightening words, especially for men. Frightening words. So we stay away. Those are the words that we're fighting against and staying away. [00:23:21] Speaker B: Right. [00:23:22] Speaker A: But it's. Those are the words that are going to start bringing some true healing. [00:23:26] Speaker B: That's it. That's it. And so again, in. In just a, A quickest snapshot of, of what the path says about healing. Healing from shame, healing from the deepest wounds. You know, it says time doesn't heal. Jesus heals. [00:23:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:41] Speaker B: And I like, I like this phrase. Time, Time doesn't heal. Jesus brings healing in time when, when we just do everything. You just said everything contrary. So every. Everything contrary is, Is what brings healing. Vulnerability, honesty, trust, all those things that, That I never did. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:04] Speaker B: You know. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:05] Speaker B: Or is actually the pathway to freedom. James, chapter five. You want healing? Confess it. Bring it open to the light. Right, Right. So it says three things here. Remember who God is. But. But if, but if I'm looking at God through shame, if I'm looking at God through shame, then I still can't see him clearly. Right. Remember who you are. If I'm looking at myself through shame, I still can't see myself. And then remember what you were made for. And so I love those three things. And I didn't. I was actually going to just ask you if any of those three things that really hit home with you. [00:24:34] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I think remembering who God is and remembering who you are, those are two of the key things that I walk people through in counseling. One on one with people. That's right. Is a concept of God and the concept of self. [00:24:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:48] Speaker A: Because how you see yourself and how you see God is going to change everything about how you see other people, how you perceive your hurt, what you do with your hurt. It's going to cause you to either find freedom and victory or for you to just go to the bottle or to whatever addictive behavior you might have in your life because you're just Trying to mask and run away from those feelings. So it's really. That's everything. That's the foundation is what you believe about God in yourself. [00:25:14] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. [00:25:15] Speaker A: I wrote this phrase down and I'm not even sure where to go with it, but I just, when I, when it came to my mind, I wrote it down right away. This is it, I think that we spend so much time trying to convince people of the truth that people can't actually receive the truth because it's only God really that breaks through. And so if it's just coming from me, right. I might even convince them of it and they might stay for a week or a year or five years. But if it's just me convincing them of the truth. [00:25:53] Speaker B: Right. [00:25:54] Speaker A: They have to stay close to me in order for them to remain. But if I can get them to slow down and to hear from God, then God speaks. [00:26:06] Speaker B: Right? [00:26:06] Speaker A: And when he opens their eyes, they can't unsee what he shows them. And so it's, it's so wild to really think about it. I think like modern ministry, I mean I'm, I'm meeting with, like I said, the pastor and this businessman to just talk about what, what does this look like? What do we, how do we do this within the context of church? And it's just such a beautiful, beautiful picture because nowhere in scripture. My sister in law just said this yesterday. Nowhere in scripture to say that church should be big and beautiful and expensive and millions of dol and sounds and thousands upon thousands on a big screen. It's all flesh in reality and it's hard to even come to that, to terms with that. But it's all just us. Flesh is just us doing it in our own ability when in reality it is the love of Christ that compels people. We're trying the best that we can to compel people by a beautiful facility and all these beautiful things. [00:27:10] Speaker B: Yes. Zach, I wish every pastor could hear this because we, we've set up the system so that people are dependent on our. [00:27:18] Speaker A: Yes. [00:27:19] Speaker B: Sunday morning. [00:27:20] Speaker A: Right. [00:27:21] Speaker B: That we call it things that Jesus never called it, like worship services and. [00:27:25] Speaker A: Right. [00:27:26] Speaker B: You know, and, and 100. And we don't talk about what's it like for you for us to remain in Jesus, abiding in Jesus. We don't teach people what's it like to walk by the spirit. We want them to just trust, you know, come back to us. And I love that you said it. [00:27:44] Speaker A: So, so much freedom in just resting in who we are in Christ. We don't need all the flash in the pan stuff. We can just rest in him and it's in my ministry to others. We've said this many times. Is so much more effective because it's not a flash in the pan stuff. No, here's Jesus. Just preach Jesus. [00:28:03] Speaker B: That's right. That's right. [00:28:05] Speaker A: It's so beautiful. We're way over on time. I wasn't paying attention. We just got carried away. And it's so beautiful. It's been a beautiful journey. Thank you, Carl, for joining me and really pulling me into this journey. It's been exciting. Good stuff.